When I think of my first year as a high school teacher, I have vivid sensory memories. I’m sleeping on the chilly, lightly carpeted concrete floor of my small office. It’s noon, my door is locked, and the lights are out. I am hiding—and completely overwhelmed. The darkness brings some solace and peace, but I am acutely aware of my tiredness from head to toe, as well as a profound, pervasive sensation of loneliness. That year, my principal came to my classroom once or twice, and I hardly engaged with other teachers.
New teachers’ major stress management method is to dig down and work harder rather than seek aid and support. Every day, we educators find ourselves in the center of enormous groups, which demands a great deal of emotional effort. “Leave your problems at the classroom door,” we are taught. (Mask your own wants on behalf of the pupils you care about.) Perform repeatedly.
In that way, it is normal to seek calm periods to reconnect with ourselves and recharge our overworked neural systems. Maybe you, like me, are concerned about burdening others while everyone is already struggling. However, if one is emotionally weary, such moments might last for hours or days, leading to feelings of isolation and indifference.
In that way, it is normal to seek calm periods to reconnect with ourselves and recharge our overworked neural systems. Maybe you, like me, are concerned about burdening others while everyone is already struggling. However, if one is emotionally weary, such moments might last for hours or even days, leading to feelings of isolation and indifference. And failing to share our experiences with others might lead to additional alienation.
Despite these difficulties, research clearly demonstrates the benefits of social connectedness. According to studies, social support might help teachers cope with professional expectations and mental tiredness. Right now, we can all benefit from thinking about the social aspect of social and emotional learning. Rather of providing you with a big list of time-consuming social “to-dos” to add to your “self-care” list, I’d want to provide a few research-based, low-lift connection tactics that are realistic, viable, and readily integrated into an educator’s busy life.
1. Show your thanks for your coworkers.
Recognizing and acknowledging the kindness around you is one of the most easiest ways to feel more socially connected at work. Gratitude is an emotion that helps to enhance relationships. In fact, a 2022 research found that it reduces stress for both the expresser and the receiver.
Imagine you and a coworker down the hall are partnered up for a six-minute job (building a bike and developing a marketing strategy). Next, each of you must deliver a three-minute sales speech to an expressionless audience. (My heart rate is racing just thinking about this.)
In this study, some “expressers” merely detailed their day to their spouse before delivering their sales pitch, whilst others expressed their gratitude to their companion. Finally, both members of the thankfulness duo had superior cardiovascular responses to stress.
In other words, expressing gratitude to your coworkers might potentially alleviate tension for both of you as you negotiate the arduous jobs you confront on a daily basis.
Whether you seek out your coworkers formally or informally, just acknowledging and appreciating each other might help you feel less stressed in your body.For example (and this is genuine), “To my GGSC colleague, Mariah, thank you for phoning to check in with me last week. Sharing our problems with each other helped to normalize everything for me. And I hung up the phone, feeling a bit more grounded.”
Include a Gratitude Circle in your small or big staff gatherings for a more formal way to express gratitude. Set up a few minutes for coworkers to express “thank you” to one another for little acts of kindness. Ask them to speak directly to the person they are thanking, and be specific: “Thank you to my GGSC colleague, Maryam, for the ’80s Spotify playlist you sent to me when I had to drive my youngest daughter to college.”
2. Identify your support system.
According to research, social support, or the sense of being cared for, appreciated, and part of a mutually supporting human network, is beneficial to both our mental and physical health. You may feel comfortable expressing gratitude to someone on your team, but after a few years in and out of your COVID cave, you may be wondering who is genuinely accessible for assistance right now.
Take five to ten minutes this weekend to think about your loved ones, both close and far away, and jot down their names. Then, make a short note of how they may help you. Researchers have identified the following categories of social support:
Informational support: counsel or feedback (someone to ask, “How should I handle this difficult conversation with my student?”)
Emotional support includes sympathy, empathy, and understanding of your situation (“No wonder you’re exhausted.” “I get it.
Esteem support is acknowledging your talents and abilities through compliments and affirmation (“You’ve got this—you’re a strong leader with a lot of grit.”)
Social network support: accessible, online, community-based services, including discussion boards and individuals willing to check in and speak about their interests or issues. (“We are here for you! Please share your questions and thoughts with us.
3. Contact, text, or meet one person this week.
Friendships may provide us with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning, as well as improved health and longer lives. However, when you’re busy (and exhausted), they demand some preparation and a commitment to show up. One of the most effective tools in our wellness toolbox is something called behavioral activation. It originates from cognitive behavioral therapy, and it’s bothersome (when one is fatigued and grouchy), but it’s effective.
4. Join a supporting community.
If you’re having trouble identifying people in your school’s support network, you might want to explore joining an educator wellness group. It will most likely need a monthly commitment of one to two hours—but it is an investment in a “meeting” you can look forward to. Furthermore, studies show that when teachers participate in groups that include well-being practices such as mindfulness and other emotional coping skills, they report improved personal well-being and the ability to give more emotional support in their classrooms.